Autoethnography on Life in Quarantine Essay

Those Who Wear the Mask and Those Who Don t Life in a Time of Quarantine

Introduction

The quarantined life can be voyeuristically experienced via social media or by way of any number of the various videos submitted to Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, YouTube or Twitter by celebrities seeking to share with the world how they themselves are getting on during a time of lockdown. Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon interview friends from their computers at home and post them for our entertainment, and generally the overall feeling that one has is that in spite of the “serious” nature of the event, life in quarantine is like one big slumber party, where people stay in their pajamas, talk to friends using Zoom, play games, and while away the time reconnecting with family at home. In short, it sounds like an extended and much-deserved holiday for everyone. No problem, right? Then again, what happens when the camera is turned off and the audience goes back to reality and all the pressing cares and concerns that go along with it: when will I get to leave, what will life be like out in the world once we all do go back to school and work, what if the pandemic gets worse and we can’t get any food, what if I lose my job over this…? Those are the fears and worries that linger, that do not go away, that are waiting for everyone when the “fun time with friends” sessions end on Zoom and one is left with oneself for what seem like endless stretches of time. This autoethnography is a qualitative exploration of the subculture of the quarantined life. It shows how things are different and how my own personal life has been affected by it. It also shows how identities are shaped by the subculture of the quarantined life and how we come to know ourselves in a new way based on this experience.

My Situation

I started out in this situation completely on the wrong foot. I was actually already travelling when things started getting serious. I was heading to Key West to see family and while there were no rules or regulations in place anywhere, things were beginning to change. But there had not been any cases of the virus reported in the Keys, so we figured it would be safe. I arrived home from Key West on March 21st, after restaurants in Fort Lauderdale had already been closed. Everything at the airport was closed except for a Burger King and a convenience store or two. It was as though while I was on vacation with my family a zombie apocalypse had happened and the whole world was now in hunker-down mode. It was very eerie just being out and about in the airport with it being so empty. I felt like I was violating a social norm and being inconsiderate by even being there—but what could I do? We had to get home to Jersey. Even the bridge into Key West was closed to visitors by the time we left for home—so we knew that flying back to Jersey things were going to be different but we just did not know how different. Yet once we did land and get home safely it was with a great sigh of relief, as though by being at home we were at last safe and secure from the swirling chaos going on outside in the world.

However, as I would soon come to learn, even at home you can lose that sense of safety and start to feel entombed. I will explain how this happened, but first I have to describe my situation at home.

I live with my mother in our home in Jersey—and usually we are not all together at the same time. She has a job and I go to school and work in a diner, so it is not like we are constantly around one another normally. I have a dog, too, and a boyfriend—but aside from that it is pretty much just us. Life before the quarantine would find us both busy at our respective work—but now with both of us at home, life is suddenly very different and I found it difficult to cope.

First off, school is not something that should be attempted from one’s bed—but that is how it went with me when classes suddenly went online. It was difficult to take it all that seriously: the environment was not conducive to serious study and focus, and opening your laptop and connecting to an online lecture while still in your pajamas does not exactly put you in the most studious of mind frames. Some people may be able to do school from home, but I quickly realized that I am not one of those people. I need a campus, a classroom, a teacher, and a desk: I need to feel like I am immersed in the environment—otherwise I will just hear my bed calling to me and I will respond accordingly by lying down in it and drowsily tuning out the lecture that I am supposed to be listening to on the computer.

To make matters worse, I hear my mother’s phone conference calls with her colleagues. Since everyone is now working from home, everyone is on the phone constantly and it has been very distracting for me. How can anyone concentrate when there is a never ending work conversation going on across the hall and you have…

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…since started seeing the world as full of two types of people: those who wear the mask and those who do not. Using Social Identity Theory (SIT) can help to explain why I look at the world in this manner. SIT posits that individuals develop a sense of who they are based on their group membership. So if a person belongs to a group, like a counter-culture group such as punk rockers, the person’s identity and sense of self will be shaped by his sense of belonging to that group. A Communist’s sense of identity will stem from his belonging to the Communist Party. However, identity can also be formed by seeing what one is not—i.e., not a member of another group, which is typically viewed as less favorable to one’s own group. SIT is also a way that people can put themselves in a position of superiority or inferiority to other groups (Branch et al., 2018). As Branch et al. (2018) note, SIT can be used to show “why individuals seek to place themselves within or outside particular social groups and may suggest why some individuals could be more vulnerable” to attacks from other groups (p. 11). With this in mind, the concept of social identity can be used to explain why some people identify one way and identify others in a different light. Ultimately it is about self-preservation and self-promotion. As McLeod (2008) notes, social groups are a source of pride and self-esteem, so it just makes sense that one would score one’s own group as better than another group. One wants to feel good about oneself and the group to which he belongs and by which he identifies.

For me, I have come to feel that the quarantine subculture has been very divisive for the larger culture because there are those who buy into the need for quarantining (like I do) and those who do not. Some people will be eager to get back to work when the lockdown is lifted, but I am wondering how people will be able to do it because out in the real world the two groups of people are going to be mixing and mingling. I am either going to have to give up self-identifying as a mask wearer and start thinking of us all as being part of the same group once more, or I may have to get therapy—seriously!

I never expected this quarantine to lead me to this conclusion but it seems I am very sensitive to the rules and regulations that health officials put out for us to follow. Yet others are not and they seem to have a great deal of disdain for those same officials. I am not sure if it is even a generational divide,…